october-moon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There has to be jobs somewhere... OMG I can't believe what just happened. I wrote a big, long entry for my diary and the window closed out by itself. I couldn't believe it. I'd spent half a bloody hour writing that entry:( Oh well... I've been thinking about how difficult things will be for me next month if I can't find a doctor to prescribe Paxil for me. I won't be able to handle another deep depression. I don't think I could make it through being depressed another time. It leaves me practically lifeless. I lay in bed, in the dark, crying. That is what most of my days consist of when I'm depressed. I won't go through that again. I'm trying to find a decent book on Yoga. There's a million and one books on Yoga and I have no clue which one is the best and would be most useful. I'm also look for a good book on Chakras. There's a million and one books about those as well. Where do people in this town get their money if most of them don't have jobs? I suppose it's the drug dealing that goes on in this area. You rake in money with dope fiends and crack heads. But there is not even the slightest chance that I would ever get involved in a trade like that. Talk about having to be paranoid... No, I'll have to earn my money the honest way(the only true Wiccan way), which is the best way. I have to find a job. It's driving me nuts just sitting around and waiting for someone to call and tell me I finally have a way of supporting myself. Mom is in a panic about the house being messy. She keeps going on and on about how grandma will be staying with Beth when we are in Cincinnati and she doesn't want the house to be a mess. I find myself growing more excited about the 2 weeks more and more as days go by. It will be so wonderful to be with Cameron for 2 weeks. Plus, it will be Autumn. The leaves will be falling and everything will be different. Thinking about it makes me so excited and happy, I almost cry! Oh yes, I forgot to add, my sister, Lynn, is having another baby. I'm sorry for my lack of excitement but it takes me a few days to warm up to these things. I really don't feel one way or the other about it. I just feel like saying "Oh, that's nice" but mom expects me to do cartwheels and knit about 10 pairs of baby booties. Lynn thinks it will be a girl. And if it is, her name will be Joselyn. Joselyn...um...what does that even mean? It's as bad a Chloe.... Blessed Be! 2:49 p.m. - Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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