october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Push

I don't feel like doing a single thing today, but I have to :P I keep telling myself that I'm going to start pushing myself to do what I need to do, but that never seems to work. Gotta start pushing...
My sisters' father is dieing. The whole family seems torn up. All except for me. I barely knew the man and from what I knew, he didn't seem all that nice (to put it in a kind manor). I wish I could feel what they are feeling. I wish I could suffer with them, but I can't.
I'm getting a new day bed tomorrow. I'll miss all the space I have now :( But at least it won't take up as much room as this full-sized bed does.
I met this guy named Azam a few months ago and he's originally from Bangladesh. He seems like a very sweet guy. I don't know it is the fact that he's foreign or if there really is something there, but I believe I like him. There's something about him that isn't like American guys and I really like that.
I told Michael that I doubt we will ever talk again. I can't stand waiting around for him to call anymore. It's useless. There will never be anything now and I know that very well. I should have know it a long time ago, but I couldn't see it. I thought I was in love with him. I don't know what it was but I know it wasn't love. I think I felt sorry for him. I think I loved the way he talked. I met him at a very low time in my life and clung on to him for hope. But things have changed and I have changed. Nothing is the same was it was. So, it's over, as sad as that is for me. Time to move on...

2:32 p.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2004

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