october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Why didn't someone tell me that life is this hard?

I'm lost, tonight. I'm confused, I'm oblivious. Most of all, I'm scared. I'm 20 and I don't want to be. I'm an adult and I don't want to be. I'm so unsure and I don't want to be. I don't know how to live and it scares me. I'm scared to leave my mother; to leave the surroundings I'm so used to.
College is hard. I didn't realize it would be like this. I am in a panic. Please don't let me fail...
Mom is leaving me for a week to go to Virginia Beach and I don't know if I can do it again. I'm too lonely and weak right now.
I need to calm down. I'm having an anxiety attack. Why didn't someone tell me that life is hard?
I'm still sick. Not as sick as I was yesterday but I'm sick. I keep coughing up astronomical wads of brownish-red mucus. It's as unpleasant as it sounds. My chest hurts each time and I cough and my chest is tight.
Oh stop complaining! It could be alot worse. I could be dying of cancer or dying of AIDS. But I'm not. It's a simple sinus infection/chest cold, so stop whining!

10:26 p.m. - Thursday, Jun. 02, 2005

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