october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Is it a possibility???

I just got off the phone with Azam. It seems that he's mad at me for not calling...but how can I call if I don't have the right number? I feel so bad that we haven't been able to speak and I know he thinks that I have forgotten about him, but that's not the case at all. I couldn't forget about him, even if I tried. I miss him and think about him almost every day. I hate the fact that he is thousands of miles away and so far out of reach. And who knows how long we will be able to talk each time I call because of ridiculous long-distance rates.
I asked him what would happen if he met another girl over there in Bangladesh. He always seems to get upset when I ask it, too lol He keeps telling me over and over again that he can't talk to women there, because it's a Muslim country (though I'm still trying to figure out what's wrong with just talking to a woman..) I'm just happy to hear from him.
I've felt since the very beginning of our friendship that there is a strong possibility that he could be the man I end up marrying. I can't explain why or how, but I've felt it. Of course, with the fact that we haven't spoken as often lately and that he is so far away, the feeling has wanned and waxed and back again. But, every time I talk to him, I feel it again. What if he really is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? Should it be a scary thought? Because it's not. He's a great person. He seems to have such a loving heart.

4:17 a.m. - Friday, Jun. 24, 2005

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