october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Love

I wasted the whole day sleeping and for once, I don't regret it. I can do this every once in a while and get away with it. Tomorrow, I must start cleaning my terrible bedroom. Hey wait! Tomorrow is a holiday! I guess that means I can put off cleaning for another day. lol
Azam called me again this morning. It was around 11:15 a.m. and I was in a deep sleep. I know I sounded horrible. He kept telling me to wake up but it sounded like it was coming from far away. lol I did catch that he got something for me but he didn't send it because he thought I had moved. Does he really think that I would have moved and not let him know somehow?! That would be cruel considering he wants to marry me and there's a possibility that I'd like to marry him as well. Speaking of which, I'm still completely amazed by his persistence and dedication. He says the exact same thing now that he said a year ago. I know that's not major for some people but it is for me. I've been lied to and screwed over so many times and when you feel like someone is really telling you the truth about loving you, it's a fantastic feeling. Don't get me wrong, I know Walt loved me and I wish so much that I could have loved him in the way he loved me. But, as much as I wanted to make his love for me enough, it wasn't. That sort of love is not what I wanted from him and I let things go way too far. And believe me, I paid dearly for it. Sadly enough, so did Walt.

9:25 p.m. - Sunday, Sept. 04, 2005

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