october-moon's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Worry and dread

I asked Laura a numerous amount of times if she would mind if Rob and I started dating. She said she wouldn't. But I should have known better, because I'm getting a lashing from her today. I'm so sorry that Rob hurt her. If I could go back and take it all back, I would. But it's the past. And, if he does it to me, I'll leave. But I have to take my chances.
I admit that, when she first got with Gavin, I didn't like the idea. But it's because I didn't want to lose my best friend. What's going on right now with her not liking what's going on between Rob and I is not about losing me or anything to do with me, it's about her and her personal resentment towards Rob.
I'm so confused. What am I to do when I feel like my best friend is against me on a matter, but I feel that it's right? What will I do if I lose Laura for good over this? But what if I lose Rob as well? Why am I even thinking about this?! Laura doesn't live her life according to me, so why should I live life accord to her word?! I've been trying to make her happy ever since we met. I've tried to live my life in accordance with what I think she would approve. She's my best friend, I love her and I believe we should always be considerate of how other people feel. I never want to hurt her, but by not doing what I need to do, I'm hurting myself. I just want her to accept me no matter what. I know I don't approve all that she does, but I accept that that is who she is.
With that said, I can talk about a happier topic :D I got the most uplifted and inspirational e-mail from my friend, Tracy, last night. She has been such a HUGE help with my depression and my loneliness. We have almost the exact same feelings about everything and I'm so glad to have her as one of my friends. Thank you, Tracy, for all your help and thank you for being just what I need when I'm depressed! I'm looking forward to our friendship growing and becoming stronger!
I love Laura so much. She's my best friend. I'm so worried about what's going on. What do I do?
U2 was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yay!:D I love Bono. He's the best singer ever!

5:28 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 21, 2005

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next