october-moon's Diaryland
Diary
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Jealousy/I'm finally a college student!
I was reading an article on AOL that really makes some sense. It seemed to come along at just the right time. The article is about jealousy. It give some tips on dealing with jealousy:
"To overcome -- or at least dilute -- jealousy, Mandel offers these suggestions:
Know your own strengths. What do you specifically bring to the table?
Don't compare yourself to anyone else because then you're only sabotaging your own uniqueness.
Affirm the other person. Today it is his or her turn to shine; tomorrow it will be yours.
Use jealousy to emulate the object of your jealousy and fuel you to accomplish and grow. If he or she can do it, so can you!
If someone else is "toxic" to you because he or she is constantly bragging just to make you jealous, then change the subject, or if need be, simply remove yourself from their presence -- if necessary, permanently!"
Does this person know that some of this stuff is literally impossible for people who are miserable with jealousy?! The woman also says: "Remember, there will always be someone out there who is more beautiful, more talented, and more successful. But so what?" Now, I absolutely refused to believe that there is someone out there better than me. I think that statement is for people who can't handle living up to what they really are inside. I refused to believe that there is a woman out there that is more beautiful than me, because it's not possible. We're ALL beautiful; it's a matter of perception.
I'm talented in my own way, so how can anyone else be more talented than me? That statement seems completely false to me. Why belittle yourself even more by saying it? Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it seems to me that by saying that, you're admitting that you think you don't rank up there with everyone else. If someone can set me straight and explain this to me, please do so.
I need to keep all of this in mind the next time I get jealous of Gavin or anyone else, for that matter. No one is better than me and I'm better than no one. I have plenty of good qualities to "bring to take table".
Anyways, I'm officially enrolled in Kaplan University!!!!!!!!! Yay woo hoo!:) I'll be starting on April 18. My courses this term are Into to Web Design and Academic Strategies for IT students. 9:52 p.m. Grrr, I'm sick of dealing with Kay. I'm glad I don't depend on her computer for anything anymore. Now she is bitching about what's on the computer, which is basically nothing. She thrives on bitching about everything.
I actually have a very nice chat with Gavin this evening. He's not half bad. He seems like a nice guy; not dislikable at all. He just seems a bit lost and confused right now because of his mother's death. He was telling me all about how he misses him mother. My heart honestly hurt for him. He seems to have suffered so much.
I feel so bad because I pre-judged! He's a human with problems just like the rest of us. He and I could become good friends.
Tomorrow, we go to Cincy to pick up Darius and I get to test my iPod on the sound system in the car!
Tonight is the full moon! You know what that means:) Okay, so I can't do an all our ritual? That doesn't mean that the little, simple things that I do aren't just as powerful! I started praying and doing chants with a rosary. I suppose it will have to do until I can make a string of prayer beads. Somewhere along the line, the cross fell off the rosary and I have no clue where is it:S But I believe it's a sign. I kinda felt like I was being disrespectful by using it with the cross still attached anyway, considering it's not a symbol of my religion.
Oh yes, I got my first wand (well, my first 2 wands) this week. They are absolutely lovely. I bought one for my Esbat rituals and one for my Sabbat rituals. The Esbat wand is purple, blue, and silverish/goldish tones and there is a quartz crystal at the top and an amethyst on the bottom end. The Sabbat wand is bright red, orange, yellow colors and attached to it is 2 quartz crystals and 1 garnet stone. I'm so proud of the because they are my first ritual tools. :P
I've drank enough tea today to keep me peeing until next month. Ahh, I could drink tea 24/7. If I could sleep and drink tea at the same time, that's what I'd do all day long.
1:51 p.m. - Friday, Mar. 25, 2005
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