october-moon's diary

october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Happy Easter!

I'm not going to let myself get in a bad mood today. But I have to mention this. Laura is pissed at Gavin because he told me how his mom died. Gavin is pissed at me, now, because Laura is supposedly coming to visit me. Give me a break?! What am I supposed to do?! I'm not going to let it get me down, though. I have let it bother me too many times in the past. But I realize I don't need this drama. Either Laura and I will be best friends forever or we won't and either Gavin likes me or he doesn't. I can't control what people say or do.
Today is Easter and I got the cutest little stuffed Peep! He's adorable. I have him sitting on my desk now. Too bad it's rainy day for Easter. I'm sure plenty of kids want to have Easter egg hunts.
Yesterday was rough! I only slept for about 4 hours and I was tired and cranky. Everything went well, though. Cameron is a little doll baby! I love him so much. I'm so glad we got to see him. He's got so much hair now. He looks like Donald Trump lol
My skin is so oily right now:( I don't know what in the world caused it. I never have skin this bad. For the past 2 days, I've felt like an oil drill. Maybe that chemical peel stuff isn't agreeing with my skin. I do have sensitive skin.

7:22 p.m.

Ugh! My head is killing me. I've been crying for the past hour and my head is throbbing. I had the biggest argument I've ever had with Laura. All because of my jealousy for Gavin. Grrrr, this must stop. But we got things straightened out (at least I think so) New Rule: Feelings should no longer be discussed every day and should no leave my journal unless it's necessary. I need to stop thinking so much of my own feelings and start to deal with everything else in life. I'm starting to learn that you can't live each day based on your mood or what you feel up to doing. I don't want to live life based on my emotions. I don't want emotions controlling my life any more. I have to learn and change gradually. It won't happen over night. I'm used to wanting everything right now but, I suppose not everything can happen that way.
I feel sorry for myself too damn much. It's always about how I'm being treated and usually, I believe I'm being treated unfairly. I'm a big baby and a drama queen. I know that and I accept that. Now, I need to change it. What can I do to help myself?
Tomorrow is my first seminar for school! I'm really excited about that. Wish me luck! I'm a bit nervous. I'm sure it will be fine though. Everything will be okay.

1:26 p.m. - Sunday, Mar. 27, 2005

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