october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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2 days until Christmas/5th day of Chanukah

I can't sleep at all. My mind keeps going back to the girl, Rachel. I know I have heard her voice before yesterday, but I just can't think of where. It sounds so familiar. It's as if I've known this girl for a life time. It's very strange. She seems like she should be one of my family members.

The strangest thing happened when Rachel and I got off the phone for the last time last night. She told me she loves me. It totally took me by surprise! I had to ask her to repeat herself so I was sure of what she said, and she said "I love you" again. As weird as it seems, I feel as if our feelings are mutual. I do love her. I don't know how and why, but I do. And in a way that I am yet to understand...

10:15 p.m.

I still haven't heard of Rachel. It just all seems like a mystery or a dream. I don't understand any of it. I hope she is okay. *shakes her head* It's just so strange.

I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I don't know how I will react around Amy. It just makes me nervous. I kinda wish they weren't coming up. Again, I know it will just take time for me to get used to things. I just need to relax and take things one day at a time.

Ashley came over today and brought the family presents. She gave me a watch and a candle that smells really good. It's pretty too; it's pink and it's in a frosted holder. She also gave me a bunch of Milky Ways:P She knows I love 'em.

I am going to weigh a ton by the time Christmas season is over. Mom just keeps making cookies and candy and we have a big bowl of M&M's setting in the kitchen. I've basically been living on chocolate for the past few days:P I'll grab a hand full of M&M's everytime I go in the kitchen. Great meal, huh?

4:44 a.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 23, 2003

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