october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Make the rain go away!

How am I feeling today? Don't know. Get back to me in a couple of hours considering I just woke up. I think I'll force myself to be in a good mood:D
Laura never called me back yesterday. She's called me a grand total of once in the entire 2 days she's been in the USA. Don't I feel special! Oh well, I can't let that upset me. I have people who care. Life won't stop because Laura won't call me. Let it burn, I guess. Or on second thought, just shut up about it. She's probably been busy.
Make the rain go away, damn it! We don't need rain:P We need happy sunshine and warm weather and the works.
Wanna hear something kinda sad? I'm really sick of hearing about the Pope's death and his funeral. Of course he was a good man and hell, I'll just say it, there aren't many good men out there now. But, honestly, I don't see why he is better than anyone else. He was human like the rest of us. I'm a good person, you're a good person. Are they going to show our funerals all over the news? I don't think so. Does that bother me? Kinda. But I won't stop eating and sleeping over it. lol
Mom is going to die when she finds out I've been accepting collect calls. Or maybe they weren't collect calls? They said I'd have to make billing arrangements with some company? I don't know but my ass is grass and I get myself into this stupid pickle every damn month and it's getting old. I'm ready to fucking cut off my own phone service. Fuck having my own line if it's going to cause so many problems. Tell me it's gonna be ok.
I have to do something with my time today or I'll go crazy. I can't just sit around. I have to do something productive. Time is precious.
Today is Friday and it's going to be a good weekend:) I'll make sure of it. I won't let myself get depressed or mad. It's not worth it. I know I'm stronger than this.
About the guys I'm trying to bust on Yahoo, it's getting fucking sickening. It's dreadful and it's making me sick. I've got plenty of names to report to Yahoo. But what can Yahoo do, honestly? I mean, if they haven't touched "Rachel" (that's the 10 year old version of me), then they can't really do anything, right? This shit has to go on until another little girl or boy gets hurt. I got a thrill out of seeing these idiots dig themselves into a hole and, now, I'm just sick of hearing their repulsive descriptions of what they'd do to "Rachel" or "me" or whatever if they got a hold of "me". What the hell makes people so fucked up?!
It's so hilarious how these losers take everything a fake 10 year old tells them and soaks it right in. One guy got mad because I told him his dick was small. I was laughing my ass off!
I'm actually starting to feel like I am a 10 year old girl and I feel violated. It's horrid and appalling.
I'm ready for class to start. I'm really excited about it. It'll give me something productive to do with my computer time. Most of my time spent online is completely wasted by sitting and arguing with people that I will most likely never meet or develop any substancial relationship with. I only feel a close bond with a small few I meet online. I believe thatTracy is on the only person still on Earth who truly understands what goes on in my heart, mind, and soul. Of course, I love Laura, but she can't fully understand my depression until she has been there. She can't know what's deep down in my mind.
Oh! I forgot to mention that I got a box full of stuff from Laura the other day in the mail! It was like Christmas lol She got me some awesome incense and this adorable tank top that says "England" on it. Oh, and this absolutely adorable teddy bear. Thanks, Laura, you're absolutely cushty! *kiss*
The sun might just come out today after all. Yay!
I was reading about crystals in drinking water today on a forum on About.com and it sounds very interested! I never thought about crystals having the power to heal through water. I thought you actually had to have them on or near your body for them to work. Pretty amazing stuff! I also got information from the same site about how powerful jade is. It's said to have peaceful and calming qualities and we all know I need to "cool it". lol I'm spastic and it's definitely not one of my good qualities.
Do I worry too much about how I'm feeling and my emotions? Am I selfish? Could it be thatmy constant worrying about what I'm feeling just makes me feel worse?

7:34 a.m. - Friday, Apr. 08, 2005

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