october-moon's Diaryland
Diary
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Habitual complainer/Royal wedding
I don't seem to write enough in each entry that I add to my journal. Short entries are not interesting nor do they do anything for me and my healing. I need to write more about my feelings and complain less about Laura and all ths things I don't like. Complaining has never helped anyone and I'm sure it has never made anyone feel better about anything. But GRR, it's such a habit. I'm a habitual "bitcher and complainer". It's something I'm trying to change but after 20 years of hearing nothing but bitching and yelling and unhappiness, it's difficult. It's a complex situation which, I believe, will get better once I move away for a while.
I finally got all my financial aid paperwork in. That was some long, complicated work. I didn't imagine it would be so difficult, but I'm just happy it's done and over with. In my opinion, education should be free for every legal citizen of the USA. If they want us to get good jobs so badly, why don't they pay for the education so we can get them? Or do they even really care? I'm leaning towards the latter. If they cared, they wouldn't ship all our jobs over seas.
It's the weekend! Yay! Maybe I can relax a bit and get rested up so I can start waking up early next week. I used to wake up early everyday before I got the comp.:-P Poor excuse, huh? I like waking up with the sunrise. It gives me a feeling of anticipation.
Ok, I know I'm going to have to block Melissa. All I want to do is yell at her and, if I do, I'll feel horrible. She just acts so..I don't want to say stupid because I don't want to be mean...so I guess I'll say "child-like" though being "child-like" isn't equal with being stupid. But, nonetheless, I have no clue what her issue is. She's never mentioned brain damage or any sort of problems but epilepsy (does that cause retardation problems?) My sister who is mentally handicapped has epilepsy. Do they have a connection? Well, all I know is I have little patience, and I know that's not good, but that's just how I am right now. Considering I plan on having children some day, that will have to change. But, about Melissa, she is so repetitive and it drives me wonky. She asks some really far-out questions and I feel like telling her to shut up and act like she's 22, but then I'd feel dreadful because I know there is something wrong with her. I often feel this way about my own sister and my mother doesn't seem to understand. Melissa changes her mind every day about what career she wants to have. She goes to college (and I didn't know they let people of her mentality into colleges. And I'm not trying to sound mean, just truthful.) to study piano? What's the point of going to college to study piano? I never understood why people do that. Okay, I already feel bad for talking about her. But I can't help it! She drives me up the fucking wall. But, if I blocked her, I'd feel so guilty. I might as well get it out, though. She bugs me about when I'm going to call her. She bugs me about when I'm going to come and visit her and I have absolutely no plans to ever go and visit her. She says "okey" (notice the misspelling. That's how she spells it) every other word. And, most annoying of all, she trys go convert me to Christianity and that's a fast way to get me to hate you.
Yay, I got it all out. Now (hopefully) I can let it go.
Wanna hear something really mean? I try to annoy her and piss her off. Yes, I'm mean! I try to pick a fight with her.
I get my tooth filled this week and I'm really looking forward to eatting and drinking without being in pain! I was drinking ice water today and my tooth was singing grand opera when the cold water hit the broken part. It also hurts when I drink my tea and we just can't have that. lol I won't give up my tea! I'd give up my tooth before I'd give up my tea.
Yay! "Iron Chef" is on Food Network. This show is awesome:P It puts me in the mood for Chinese food, well...wait, I'm always in the mood for Chinese food. But it makes me want it even more lol And it's a Japanese show, so I really don't know why it reminds me of Chinese food... @ 11:44 p.m. Prince Charles will always be one of the biggest pricks to ever live. He sure has some balls marrying that fucking ugly Camilla. I feel like something has ended today. A certain air is gone now. Diana is gone and he has just move on. He can just go on living as if he never did anything wrong. But we all know what he did to Diana. We all know how he hurt her. How does he wake up in the morning knowing all that he knows and having done all he's done? It's disgraceful to England and it makes them look bad to the rest of the world. They need to give Charles the boot. As a matter of fact, they need to give the whole monarchy the boot.
Well, the wedding is over and Camilla is officially a princess now. It's sad when ugly bitches like her can become royalty. I dunno, I guess I just hold her responsible for why Charles and Diana had so many problems. Of course he has his role in it as well, but she didn't back off once and say "Charles, you're married now. We need to call it quits for now." I have a deep love and admiration for Diana, and to know that two people hurt her the way that Charles and Camilla did, it boils my blood.
I just got the sweetest gift from Laura in the mail. It's a candle in a tin that says "For my special friend" on the lid. The Universe knows when we need certain things. The Goddess knew I needed to be reminded of how much Laura cares about me so She sent this to me, on this day.
I've missed Laura since she went to New York. I wish she would have called more than once so we could have talked:( But, when I got the candle, I almost started crying. These little things mean so much to me, because I've never had a friend who has done little things for me before.
2:55 a.m. - Saturday, Apr. 09, 2005
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