october-moon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I used to eat cat food. Is it mean to purposely try to get on someone's nerves to see if they'll break? Probably, but I do it anyways :D Yes, I can be mean, but what woman isn't mean sometimes? It's one of our many personalities. We're complex creatures, we are! I have so many moods and facets and personalities, I sometimes forget who I am.lol I'm Sybil! 4:46 p.m. I am being so completely mean to people today. I'm ready to tell Melissa to fuck off and my sister is about to get a big mouth full of curse words thrown in her direction. I don't have the patience for this shit today. I pray to to the God and Goddess that I never have a child who is slow. I'm afraid I would end up hurting them somehow if I lost my temper. Please never let this happen to me. I'd probably have to give the baby up to the state because I judt couldn't handle it.I want a baby so badly and if my child has something wrong, I think I would break. I couldn't handle it. I would feel like I failed once again. For me, it would be the ultimate failure. I know how my mom and my sister must feel. It's so despairing. I feel their pain and I feel their frustration. I wish I could make it better for both of them, but the God and Goddess have sent the special children into our lives for a reason. Life without Cameron would be completely dull. I guess I don't have to worry about that right now. I'm not pregnant and won't be for a while (I hope lol.)I'm definitely not ready for a baby yet. Laura is back from New York City!Woo hoo! I missed her SOO much and I'm so happy she is back. She said she had a great time and wished I had been there. I wish the same too! But I'm glad she had a good time and I'm even more glad she is home so we can talk again. I can't wait for her to come and visit! 1:41 a.m. - Sunday, Apr. 10, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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