october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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I refuse

I actually feel some hope today. I'm so hard on myself. I'm just 20 years old. I'm still very young and I still have alot to look forward to. All can't possibly be lost. I refuse to think that.
I panic. Every single day, I panic. Every day I wonder what I could be doing to shape my destiny to my liking.
I fucking refuse to think I won't make it to England or Japan and every other place I want to. I refuse to think I won't have a good life. As bad as things get, I refuse to think anything else.
It really is true...we are our own worst enemy. No one is telling me that I can't do what I want but myself. If I can deal with myself, I can deal with anything.

3:36 p.m. - Sunday, Oct. 02, 2005

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