october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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Old feelings revisited

I'm back! As I said I would be yesterday.
I was surfing e-Bay and came across an auctioning of Kevin Wells' book, Goodbye, Dearest Holly. I immediately started getting shakey and litterally got a lump in my throat. Should I bid or should I not? Most people would say its nothing. Either you bid or you don't. No one really understands my emotional involvement in the Holly and Jessica case. For all of you who have read my journal for the past 2 years, you know my feelings about it. But you don't know every single feeling and emotion. You don't know how truly miserable I was. I felt tortured.
Back to point, I ended up bidding on the book. I need it. To know more about Holly. To have some sort of closure. I need to know more about this little girl, as strange as that sounds. It is nothing at all sexual. I can't explain it. The closest word to describe my longing would be "spiritual".
Okay, enough of that...I've been sick two times this Autumn/Winter. Once in September and once in November. My first illness, in September, was probably a stomach virus. I got sick on the last day of our visit to my sister's house in Cincy (I'll tell about the visit more later). I always get sick at her apartment or after visiting her apartment. Its probably a mold issue. The second time I got sick, I had a monster sinus infection that nearly drove me crazy.

7:00 a.m. - Thursday, Dec. 15, 2005

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