october-moon's Diaryland Diary

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No time or room for fear

I don't want to deal with school today. I don't feel like going and dealing with people. Even wearing my freshly-washed favorite pair of jeans doesn't make me want to go to school.
I see now that I haven't changed that much since high school in this area. In high-school, I became so afraid of rejection and disapproval that I just sort of numbed myself and became an introvert.
I'd like to stay home today and read my novel and be safe from rejection from the outside world. But, somewhere along the line, I became an adult, and when you're an adult, there isn't any room in your life for fear. Facing the outside world is inevitable.
So, I'm going to put on my jeans (and a top of course!) and gather my books and go to school. Not everyone is going to accept but not everyone is going to reject me. And what does it matter? I'm going to school to learn. Not to make friends. I'm not paying for a dating service.

7:13 a.m. - Thursday, Aug. 17, 2006

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