october-moon's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The sound writings of a whole girl One of the most amazing thing happened today. I was talking with Carl (yes, a big mistake) and we got into an arguement because we have two different life styles. He likes living the country and I like the city. Towards the end of this arguement, he proceeded to tell me that he thinks I am an "empty shell who has to be surrounded by people to feel alive and to be happy". Boy, did THAT spark something! It made me realize just how much I really am inside. It made me realize that I am a WHOLE person. I may have emotional problems but don't many other people? Just because I have depression doesn't mean I'm nothing at all. I'm not stupid and I feel I have plenty of personality. I know how to make people laugh. I don't lack thoughts, emotions, or opinions, so how can I be an empty shell? What he did was one of the best things that could happen to me right now. It's made me even more determined to be everything I want to be and do everything I want to do. I'm going to acheieve all my goals and I am going to continue to be happy, and no one can stop me. Nothing anyone says or does will stop me. It's amazing how someone telling you that you are nothing makes you realize that you are everything, and more. So...thank you, Carl, for helping me to realize I have more than enough potential to accomplish all that I dream of, and that I am more, inside, than I ever imagined. 3:00 p.m. From Yahoo.com Astrology: Pisces is a Water element, ruled by mystical Neptune! This sign is extremely receptive, nurturing, compassionate, and other-directed. As with Scorpio, we have to explore and probe to find out the depths of this water. Pisces feelings run very, very deep. A mutable nature endows Pisces with adaptable and unifying energy. These sensitive people are like the water that flows gently downstream, around the rocks and obstacles in its path. Pisces receptivity can translate into psychic energy. Pisces knows all and sees all but probably won't tell' all. The Fishes keep the secrets of the universe within and to themselves. Without balance, Pisces can sink into the whirlpool of emotion. This can bring out hidden fears and insecurities. Lack of ego-strength can make Pisces feel dependent and helpless. Then they can fall into the martyr trap. Pisces benefit by truthfully sharing their own difficulties, feelings, and need. They need to remember that they too have the right to receive all the help and support they are so used to giving! A happy, confident Pisces brightens the world and all our lives. I believe that describes me very well(all of it except for the "knows all and sees all" line, because I can be rather clueless when it comes to people keeping things from me) Fri Mar. 19, 2004 by Astrocenter.com: This morning you should wake up feeling especially hopeful and optimistic for your future, Pisces. Your self-confidence is stronger than usual and your enthusiasm is liable to be catching. Success in joint efforts with others should have you glowing with satisfaction. You could even receive public acknowledgement for your efforts. Today bodes well for relationships of all kinds, but particularly romantic ones. Tonight: Celebrate your good fortune with a lover! That's so amazing! Of course, if you are reading this, you've read the first part of my entry. So, you know I'm feeling rather up-beat and my confidence has been boosted a bit. I'm impressed! 7:34 p.m. I've got alot of things to do tonight, but I have to pause for a moment to write. I was outside, walking around the front and back yards. I looked around at all the dead plants and the termite-eatten wood of tables and picnic benches from a 100 years ago. I felt such a saddness, seeing all of these items. It felt as if they were reminents of dreams my mother had; of the little things my mom wanted to give us. She wanted to give us all she never had, and in many ways, she did. She gaves us unlimited and unconditional love. There's nothing I want more than my mother's love, and I can say that in all honesty. If it wasn't for her love, I don't know how long I would have lasted. I know I wouldn't be here now. She's been through hell and I want so much for her. I want as much for her as she wants for me. I want her to be happy and to know that it's never too late to try again. I want her to know that she didn't fail. She has done her best and that's the best thing she could ever do. Most important of all, I want her to know that I love her...and I do appreciate her. I really love her, with all my heart, with all I have in me. No matter how much I grow, I will always need her.
12:40 a.m. - Friday, Mar. 19, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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