october-moon's Diaryland Diary
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Farewell and Goodnight.
"Goodnight, to every little hour that you sleep tight. May it hold you through the winter of a long night, and keep you from the loneliness of yourself. Heart strung, is your heart freyed and empty. Cause it's hard luck, when no one understands your love. And I say...Goodnight, my love, to every hour, in everyday. Goodnight, always, to all thats pure thats in your heart.
Goodnight. May your dreams be so happy and your head light, with wishes of a sandman and a nightlight. Be careful not the let the bedbugs sleep tight, nestled in your covers. The sun shines, but I don't. The silver ran will wash away. The sun shines but I don't. The silver rain will wash away. And you can tell, it's just as well. And you can tell, it's just as well. Goodnight, always, to every hour, in every day. Goodnight, always, to all that's pure thats in your heart." -Farewell and Goodnight- The Smashing Pumpkins
As for my day today, I got a surround sound system for my DVD player! It's so awesome!
I suppose I won't be writting in here for a while. Possibly never again. It's sad, because I've written so many of my feelings and thoughts down here. This is the one place I could let my hair down and really tell it as I felt. it.
I suppose I could always write in a notebook or journal, but it's not the same. Here, I could express myself and know that the world could hear me. I knew that someone would have to venture upon my journal sooner or later, and would hear what I have to say. Thats all that ever really mattered, getting my writing out there. That's all I wanted.
I will continue to write, of course, in some way, shape, or form. Writing will always be part of me and part of my life.
As for my life in the real world...despite the fact that I felt, not too long ago, that I have gotten nowhere, I was dead wrong. I've grown in so many ways. I'm more sympathetic and I understand more now that I ever did.
I know the importance of life and the "resolute urgency of now", as Billy Corgan wrote in Tonight, Tonight.
I'm going to be fine and I'm going to go far. For once in my life, I'm okay. I'm better than okay. I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I'm close and getting closer everyday. When I think I can't go any further, I imagine the Goddess, with Holly and Jessica, telling me to keep going. Their picture is my goodluck charm. I carry it with me everywhere I go.
I've learned that I'm never alone. All my loved ones, including Holly and Jessica, are always with me.
Most importantly, I've learned that I can do whatever I want and I WILL do whatever I want. I will move to London and I will start my family and I will be happy. I know all of this for a fact now.
To anyone who actually read my diary...thank you so much for taking the time out to read about my dull and boring life and rather colorful opinions. It means so much to me, and I wish I could thank you personally.
I'll leave you will the picture that changed my life. Look closely and read carefully,you might find something that will change yours...
...farewell and goodnight....
9:26 p.m. - Thursday, Mar. 25, 2004
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